- Who owns the child?
- What could have gone wrong?
- Cultural Reverence for Motherhood:
- Motherhood and Divinity:
- Motherhood as Identity Formation:
- Maternal Expectations and Child's Role:
- Cultural and Religious Traditions:
- Psycho-social Realities of Indian Women:
- Anomie (Émile Durkheim):
- Children as Property and Liability:
- Social Media and Societal Changes:
- Absence of Society in Personal Struggles:
Suchana Seth, CEO of Mindful AI Lab has an illustrious career as a Data Scientist. From 2008 to 2020, she excelled at several highly esteemed companies.
Suchana Seth was listed among the Top 100 women in AI ethics 2021. She’s also a fellow at Harvard University.
What could have gone wrong that she had to (tragically) kill her Four & Half Year old preschooler Son?
When we use the word “Monster” we do not create the binary of this word with “Normal”. “Monster” is the binary opposite of “God” (Goddess) and therein lies the problem.
Suchana Seth will bear the burden and punishment of her deed, but we all are accomplices in her crime, let us see how.
Who owns the child?
The options that we have are – Mother, Father, Paternal Grandparents, Maternal Grandparents, Society, State (State as in Sociology, the overarching all-powerful State), and, Judiciary (the parens patriae), but also “Society”, after all we have made a society and now everything is a Social reality.
Being a mother is a biological fact, and being a father is a sociological reality.
We know the problems that women face due to pregnancy are- prepartum, and postpartum (in many cases severe cases of depression).
What could have gone wrong?
Cultural Reverence for Motherhood:
Indian culture holds motherhood in high esteem, viewing it as a moral, religious, and even artistic ideal. This cultural reverence places an enormous psychological burden on women, where motherhood becomes a pivotal aspect of their identity. For Suchana Seth, navigating the expectations of this cultural paradigm while maintaining a high-profile career could have been a significant source of stress.
Motherhood and Divinity:
The idea of motherhood being associated with divinity, especially in Indian society, creates an idealized and often unrealistic expectation for women. Suchana Seth may have struggled with these societal expectations of being a ‘perfect mother’ (and also a perfect wife) while managing a high-profile career. The conflict between these societal ideals and the reality of motherhood could be a significant psychological strain.
Motherhood as Identity Formation:
In our society, motherhood significantly enhances a woman’s status and is seen as a fulfillment of an old wish and a biological promise. It confirms her status as a ‘renewer of the race’ and brings respect and consideration not accorded to her as a mere wife. Seth’s role as a mother, therefore, would have been central to her identity and societal perception and many change in this “premier ownership” concept will cause enormous distress.
Maternal Expectations and Child’s Role:
There can be a dynamic where the mother unconsciously expects the child to fulfill her unmet desires and wishes (like considering her as the sole “owner”). This can lead to a situation where the child feels compelled to act as the mother’s savior, potentially creating a psychologically taxing environment for both the mother and the child.
Cultural and Religious Traditions:
The cultural and religious traditions in our society equate women with motherhood, viewing the birth of a male child as essential for the family’s salvation. These beliefs heighten the importance and pressure of motherhood, making it a central aspect of a woman’s life and identity. The “son” becomes a force around which it becomes easy to revolve things, what happens when one finds that having a “son” is not helping to be a sole powerful “owner”?
Psycho-social Realities of Indian Women:
The psychosocial development of Indian women typically follows a trajectory from being a daughter, to a wife, and finally, a mother. Each stage comes with its own set of expectations and societal roles. Seth’s transition through these stages would have been influenced by the traditional Indian societal structure, potentially complicating her psychological and emotional experiences. But here comes the circumstance of “separation” of “losing power”, and this could make things move on a very bad road.
Anomie (Émile Durkheim):
Anomie refers to a state of normlessness, where societal norms are unclear or are in flux, possibly leading to deviant behavior. For Suchana Seth, the rapid changes in societal expectations, especially in a traditionally structured society like India, might have led to a sense of disconnection and confusion about her roles and responsibilities. Such societal changes where motherhood, marital separation, shifting of power, and shifting of decisive leadership, impact individual behavior, particularly in the context of family and motherhood.
Children as Property and Liability:
In India, children are seen as a “parent’s property”. Property also comes with its binary of liability. In a context where children are seen both as a property to be showcased and a liability to be managed, a mother in Seth’s position might experience intense pressure to ensure her child meets certain societal standards. Societal pressures around child-rearing and the perception of children impact maternal mental health and behavior.
Social Media and Societal Changes:
Since 2013, there has been a notable shift in the dynamics of Indian society, partly fueled by social media. The spread of hatred and polarized opinions on platforms like Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook might have contributed to an atmosphere of heightened stress and scrutiny. The impact of social media on her mental health and public perception cannot be refuted, especially considering her posts where she wants everything to look normal, perfect, and highly “successful”.
Absence of Society in Personal Struggles:
Suchana Seth might have felt isolated in her personal struggles. The lack of a supportive societal structure for working women dealing with the dual demands of career and motherhood and especially the ugly breaking up of marital relationships, is also a factor in leading to this tragic outcome.
We need to understand that Suchana Seth inherited a lot of trauma- religion, culture, societal, filial and rapidly progressing societal and filial changes have influenced her actions.
Only by deciphering the larger truth can we save future victims and society therein.
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